Drowning
Without saltwater baths and luxury scented body lotions
Like every burnt-out millennial who looks forward to the weekend but worries about Mondays when they actually get to it, who has gone dairy-free because of their constant skin and stomach issues but cannot wait to get drunk the first chance they get, who always finds themselves stuck between radio and reels, shower time is my favorite time. Of course, I am not speaking for everyone here. But I am speaking on behalf of myself and the majority of people that I have grown up with.
I don’t know about you but I utilize my shower time very productively. I think about all the things that I have done wrong, have imaginary conversations, and also plan out the next year of my life keeping in mind how ‘I’ want it to look like. It never ends up happening of course. In between ‘treating myself’ with luxurious bath bombs that cost half my rent, ‘going out’ on weekends and having to pay for an ounce of time with your friends, and seeking professional help to deal with all of the above, I rarely get to fulfill my dream of having my own space or my plan for a solo trip or do something to spark my creativity that does not involve learning how to close an email a hundred different ways. Not that I cannot, but somehow I find myself drowning in thousand other less important things and trying to rise above it all. Maybe if I buy that dress, it will stop for a bit. Maybe if I take that extra pint of beer, it will stop. Maybe if I quit my job, it will stop. But when does the noise truly end?
Have you ever noticed that if you stand under the shower, water running from the top of your head, through your hair, on your face, and to the ground, the water tends to go into your ears? However, if you close your ears, fingers on top of them, and the water still running, you can almost hear a storm. It sounds like it has been raining heavily and you are standing right in the middle of it. My thoughts have always been loud. But nothing so far has been able to overpower the sound of them. It is crazy how it feels almost poetic; a sound to drown out the sound.
Maybe I will buy the new body butter that smells like it will clear my due credit next month or finally quit my job and live the Indian dream of opening a small cafe in the hills or go off the grid and finally be able to deactivate my socials and give up on my small dream of making it big on the platforms. These are some of the thoughts amongst many others that I have right this second. I could use some poetry right now.